5 Ways to Help Your Daughter Appreciate Her Natural Hair

I am going to share with you 5 ways to help your daughter appreciate her natural hair.

If you have a little girl like I do, then you know just how impressionable they are.

She sees a girl with a swirling dress, she also wants a swirling dress. Sounds familiar? She sees a girl with bouncy hair going back and forth, she also wants hair that goes back and forth. And the list goes on….

And if you, mommy, have an appreciation for natural hair like I do, then I’m sure you would like to see your little girl loving and embracing her natural hair too. Right?

If that’s you, keep reading!

There is a lot we don’t have control over (like the girl your daughter sees at the shops with bouncy hair), but there is also a lot that we do have control over (like what goes on in our homes). Here are some things, that are in your control, that you can do to help your daughter appreciate her natural hair:

1. Her natural hair is created by God

In our Christian home, we find a way to inculcate God in everything we do. We often remind ourselves that we find our purpose and identity in Him. 

And if you are Christian too, let your girl know often that she was created by God.

Help her appreciate that everyone is different and unique yet very special. Bring her attention to all the outward features and characteristics that distinguish each one from the next person. And all those things are what make us who we are, and we are beautiful just the way He made us.

Lerato has long straight hair, you have short curly hair, Kathrine has short blonde hair, mommy’s hair is long, thin and coily. They are all beautiful and God made us all unique. Doing this will help her understand that we are all different and loved just the same! And this will help your daughter appreciate her own natural hair.

2. Watch your language and attitude towards natural hair

Little girls imitate. I’ve seen it with mine. She speaks the way I do and has the same mannerisms 🤦🏾‍♀️

So, mama, be mindful of the words you use to describe your natural hair, her natural hair, or anyone’s for that matter. Lead by example, it starts with you. When she sees you appreciating your natural hair, she’ll be more inclined to imitate that.

Do not use words that bear negative connotations or undertones of inferiority or disadvantage. Never be heard wishing you had hair like “so and so”. 

Rather teach her about natural hair in a matter-of-fact-but-with-a-touch-of-enthusiasm kind of way. Describe natural hair and its characteristics. 

Talk about its versatility. It can be long, it can be short (maybe from shrinkage), it can be straight, etc.

When it is dry, for instance, say that “it is dry” and tell her of ways to combat dry hair. Talk about the importance of maintaining moisturized hair. 

No need to use derogatory language to describe anyone’s natural hair!

Also, don’t problematise your daughter’s hair, or natural hair in general. Our hair is not a problem in need of a solution. *And that’s on periodt! * 

Ok. I’m done preaching. Can you tell I’m passionate about this?

3. Involve her when doing her (and your) natural hair

Many times I see little girls sitting passively and uncomfortably while their hair is being done. They are not allowed to move and they are scolded at when they touch. 

This creates a negative perception around haircare and is not the greatest experience.

For an enjoyable experience during haircare, let her play a part in doing her hair. Allow her to get her hands on her hair and in the products. Give her a section to do and guide her through the process. Let her know why she shouldn’t use a certain product before a particular step. Explain the best order of product application. Teach.

Also, for an enjoyable experience and creating a positive perception in your girl’s mind toward natural hair, mommy please don’t be rough on your girl’s hair. Make it painless. See this post on my guidelines for pain free haircare for your daughter.

I know you are a busy mom and want to get this over and done within 0.5 seconds. But do make time allowance for teaching.  This will go a long way in giving you time sooner rather than later when she can do her own hair. 

Also, involving her not only teaches your daughter to do her own natural hair, but also creates an enjoyable and engaged haircare experience that helps to form a positive perception towards her own natural hair.

4. Help her familiarize herself with natural haircare terminology

Use natural hair terms as they are and explain them as often as needed. Start them young, it’s never too early. Soon she’ll be using them herself. Just like any vocab, use the correct language from the get go, even the word you think is big. Explain it. Use it in context. And she’ll get it. Trust me.

The best way to do this is in conjunction with the previous point. So, as you narrate to your daughter what you are doing on her natural hair, tell her what the step is and what products you are applying. Then let her try on her section.

Detangle. Shrinkage. Moisturise. Condition. Etc. Use these terms and other natural haircare jargon. Learning even the terms helps your little one become more confident as she learns and masters her natural haircare.

Note: Don’t force your girl to learn, there is no exam here (this applies to all the points). No pressure on your little girl, please. Just weave these things in seamlessly/naturally/organically as you are doing her hair or in conversations (especially when she is showing interest and is curious).

5. Representation is important

Representation is everything.

What is your little girl constantly seeing around her?

What shows does she watch on television (if she watches television)?

What do the people look like on programs she watches?

Is she represented on those programs?

What books is she reading or are you reading to her?

The pictures in those books, is your daughter represented in those?

What about the dolls you’ve bought her?

Is she represented there? Is her hair represented? 

Representation lets your daughter know that she’s included in society. It also has a positive impact on her sense of self. It reinforces positive views about herself and what she can achieve in society.

So, with all that you expose your little girl to, ensure that she is well represented. Make sure you are not constantly (of course unintentionally!) putting pictures in her environment that only showcase those who don’t look like her. Try to be intentional.

A few years ago, I came across this company (Sibahle Collection) that makes black dolls with beautiful afros and traditional ware. I bought one for my daughter and she named her Tshilidzi (Grace in Tshivenda). Tshilidzi has been a valued member of our family ever since!

So, if there are going to be images around your daughter (things in your control), make sure many of those represent her and her natural hair. And this will help her appreciate her natural hair too!

I hope you enjoyed this one mommy. I shared 5 things you can do to help your baby girl love and appreciate her natural hair. When we do these, not only do we empower our daughters to know how to maintain their own hair but we also help cultivate a positive disposition towards natural hair in their hearts. 

Share with me in the comments how you have made natural haircare a treat for your little girl(s).

Also, sign up to my newsletter so that you don’t miss any posts like this.

You can purchase the Bontle doll here: